Christmas Contest Entry ID#12504 All I wanted was a bath

wow it has been a crazy few weeks since the party.man i still have nightmares about all the food i ate and my credit card just stopped smoking from all that next day shopping i did.then there is the symbiote slime thing i have fought like 79 times or the crooked man who bet me more times then i like to think about.but that is all over now its time to soak my sore muscles in a nice hot lava pool down on sub level 19.all tho i am lost down here again now was it two lefts then a right or two rights then man this always happens. well i will find my way soon i just need to look as a door slides open to a large cavern i see a man sitting next to one of the magma springs he looks back and said hello with a smile on his face and a child like sense of wonder in his eyes he asks "do you play fort nite"and just like that i shot that fat old dude in the ugly sweater right in the back of the head then kicked his body and big dumb boots into the lava stepping the mess to the side as i get in to take a bath and burn away this slime and sad i have been feeling.its just then another guy comes walking in hey any food in here i see he looks like a meaner version of joe pesci so i pull a more-fun bar from my bag. here eat this as he takes a bit he is transformed into a lovely woman with long red hair and snow white skin well i guess you do turn into a mobster when your hungry so what are you doing down here her answer is fast and sharp looking for santa have you seen him my mind races as sweat starts to pool on my forehead and neck "santa agg santa who" well he is not your santa but a santa and my scanner said he was here but anyway you think you can help.do what i ask and buy the way how did you get in here well nevermind what.my screen indicates a reading of 7.643 at 134.67-243.54 we should check it out.wait a red what at whos phone number her eyes cut to glance at me just fallow me and lets go.soon as we enter the next cave opening a blast of energy hits the wall behind us trapping us in here with it i say it because i have no idea what that thing is but as fast as i see it the monster is on us its claws are like giant knives and so many teeth but just as fast the thing splits down the middle like a twin pop and the sticks where the legs now covered in whatever juice was in that thing a portal open and i see a old guy in a lab coat and a kid in a yellow tee.the man in the lab coat tells the kid to grab some chrystals sticking out of the things brain or what i think is its brain as i hear him say "we will need these to fix jessica when we get back"now lets go as he pulls a device from his coat he looks at us "hi anna"whos anna the kid asks oh thats anna claus she is the santa from N437 hey grandpa did you see that guys suit it looked cool as a portal opens the old guy yells "get over here we are leaving and dont talk to that guy he look about as smart as your dad"ouch hey that hurts in my reality you are just a cartoon anna looks the lab coat up and down so you going to help or what old man fine fine you got me i was watching everything happen and it was funny but i will help he opens a portal for us too and leaves through his. i look at anna where to next miss claus in a flash we are transported to krampuses secret hideout and it is full of these little goblin like things with sharp parts and they are mad.well what do we do with these anna "you keep them bizzy well i free my husband and the other santas loved ones"she hands me a ring telling me it will heal me over time and shoves he at the hoard these things are nasty biting clawing and pinching one of there hands just phased through my armor and it gave me a nurple hey do these things have powers. well i guess yes said anna they were human kids before krampus ate them and stole all there joy and this is whats left HOLD up i have been punching kids in the face for the last hour ok ok ok no one tells director nova about this part ok cool do you have him anna "yes" then lets get out of here by the way what is your name kris kris claus. Oh like the song kriss kross will make you jump jump no not like the song and the 80s wants its joke back with a sharp glance they where a popular band at the time and ouch under this super hardened chest plate is a man with a soul and feelings.so whats next anna now to the palace to take down krampus and burn his sack that should break the curse and free the children then we can return them to there own times a spaces