Collaborative Not So Fictional Story: "I Hate You, Trace...."

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Collaborative Not So Fictional Story: "I Hate You, Trace...."

Fuma Hanzo
This post was updated on .
a non collaborative collaborative fiction non fiction

Player ID: 10950
Player ID: 11504

CJ was headed home from coaching his son's football team. He had just finished loading up and checked his phone before strapping on his seatbelt.

"Let's see." he mumbled as he scrolled through his messages.

"Trace. Hey CJ, you were supposed to get that buy team going. Where are you? Everyone's waiting. Trace again. CJ wth, man? You were supposed to have the buy group set up last night. Everyone's waiting to buy mps. We're just waiting on you. I already built the buy group. We just need you to accept the invite on your end and we can get started. Trace again. WTF dude? Do I have to do everything? Trace again. I hacked your account. Your password sucks. I went ahead and took care of everything. Go back to whatever it is you're doing. Trace some more. More Trace. Frank. Trace again. More Trace. RJ. I'll get to him later when I get home. Trace. $#!+, I hope no one else tried to get ahold of me, cuz if so, they're lost in all these Trace messages.."

"What's he want?" asked CJ's son, Kaleb.

"Who knows with Trace, my man." he answered. "I tell ya, it could be anything from a hair brained crazy idea to turn everyone in the game invisible, to something actually smart. You just never know with Trace. But judging by how many messages he's sent, he probably wants me to do something important. No worries. It can wait."

Later that evening, after he had gotten home, eaten dinner, taken a shower, watched an entire season of a streaming TV show, and played with his cat for a few hours, CJ was ready to delve into his most expensive hobby to date. There was a reason he wasn't in a rush. He turned on his computer and geared up with his gloves, belt, ankle straps, and Ultra High Def VR helmet.

"Full immersion mode activate." he said as the systems came online.

His eyes were assaulted with a 3D digital wormhole that pulled his senses from the real world into the game Heroes Rising! After appearing on the red Martian like surface of a planet that served as his home screen, A holo screen appeared in the air before him  and prompted him to input some information. He typed in his name, login info, and password.

"Incorrect login or password." said an emotionless disembodied female voice.

"Wrong password? What the heck?" said CJ. "Alexa, call Trace."

"Dialing Trace now." said the disembodied female voice.

As the line rang, CJ couldn't help but be a little unnerved by his new computer assistant. He'd never had one before and if it hadn't have been a gift for his wife from his sister, he probably wouldn't have it in the house. He was pretty sure it was spying on him. You just never know about those pesky Russians. They had their fingers meddling in all kinds of government affairs, and with him being Mayor of Heroes Rising, he knew they probably brainwashed his sister into giving it to his wife so they could take control of Heroes Rising City. But those commies weren't going to get away with it, CJ vowed to himself. Not while he was Mayor!

"Hello? CJ? 'Bout damn time." Trace's voice could be heard on the other end.

"So, what's up?" CJ asked. "I saw you messaged me a few times earlier?"

"Did you read my messages?" asked Trace.

"No." answered CJ. "There were a lot of them. I kinda was hoping you could just fill me in now."

"Well, there was a lot of important information in those messages." Trace said. "Charts and diagrams, stuff you gotta look at. I can't just tell it to you. There's a whole strategy to this patrol thing."

"Well, can't we just wing it?" asked CJ.

"Just get your @$$ in the game, dammit." Trace said with a bit of frustration.

"Yeah, about that......" CJ replied, "Did you change my login info? I can't seem to get in."

"Yes." Trace answered. "I told you that in the messages you didn't read. Your password, sucks."

"Oh." said CJ. "Well, can you just tell me what it is now? That's a lot of messages to look through."

There was a short pause of silence before CJ heard Trace and a few other people on the end of the line laughing hysterically.

"C'mon, man."asked CJ. "I don't know my password."

Trace continued to laugh for a bit before blurting out, "Sucks."

"Yeah, I know it sucks. You said that already." said CJ. "What's my password? You said you hacked my account."

"No!" shouted Trace. "That's your password. I sent it in your messages and just told you now. Sucks is your password."

"You're retarded." CJ said to Trace as he shook his head. "I don't know why I put up with you."

After inputting his new password, courtesy of Trace, the holoscreen and the red Martian surroundings melted away, leaving in their place the space age fortress surroundings of his team's HQ. The rest of his teammates were already there. As he looked around to gear in his bearings, he saw the rest of his teammates rolling on the ground laughing and pointing at him.

"Well look who decided to show up and grace us with her presence!" RJ said. "If it isn't the Queen of England herself!"

"You guys are ridiculous." CJ said. "I had stuff to do. This is the busiest time of year for me. You just don't know. If I don't do all the other stuff Mayor Justice is responsible for in the real world, the whole world stops. Not just my world. Your world too. You just don't know. I'm that important."

CJ looked around as more eruptions of laughter burst forth from the group and Matthew rolled on the ground holding his stomach with one hand and pointing at CJ with the other.

"What is wrong with you guys?" CJ asked.

Trace wiped some tears from the outside corners of his eyes as he replied, "Huh? Wha? Oh, nothing....... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

CJ stood looking at his teammates dumbfounded. What on Earth was wrong with them? Were they all on drugs?

"Are we gonna do this raid or not?" he impatiently asked the others.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." said Trace as he tried to compose himself, unable to resist letting a snicker of a smile escape the corner of his mouth. "Do you have the last key so we can open this door?"

"What key?" asked CJ.

"OMG, CJ!" exclaimed Barse.

Trace muttered through his hands as he face palmed at CJ's response. "The key I told you to get from patrols."

"What key from what patrols?" CJ retorted. "You never told me about any keys or anything about any patrol."

"It's in the messages I sent you!" yelled Trace.

CJ scoffed. "Yeah, but you know I don't read those. Reading's for nerds!"

"Well, $#!+, guys." said Trace. "I guess we have to go do a patrol now 1st. Everyone look for a key. First one to find one notify the others and we'll all meet back here."

Everyone left the HQ and headed in separate directions on patrol. CJ could still hear the others laughing to one another about something but couldn't make out what it was. He brought his holoscreen back up and started looking through his patrol options.

"Free Detroit sounds like a good place to look." he said to himself. "There's bound to be plenty of keys in a city known for car manufacturing."

CJ found his way to a manufacturing plant where cars used to be made. Now it was in decay, it's glory days long past. But he could hear noises inside from machines, and outside, a patrol of Xandraxi guards stood watch. If he could just get inside that factory, he knew he could find an old car key somewhere. With no other plan, CJ decided to walk right up and see if he could just walk in.

"HALT HUMAN!" one of them ordered. "Go no farther! This area is restricted from access by humans!"

"But I'm Mayor Justice!" declared CJ.

"We are terribly sorry Mayor, but no humans are allowed in this area. It has been discovered that someone dumped highly radioactive nuclear waste here." replied the Xandraxi. "For your own safety, we cannot let you go any farther until we have completed all necessary cleanup measures to ensure human safety again."

CJ had been through this part of the game before and knew this was a ploy. He decided the best course of action now would be a surprise frontal assault.

"Did I say I was Mayor Justice? Maybe you know me better by my super name, Catalyst!" CJ exclaimed before releasing a full on haymaker punch to one of the robot guards.

PING!!!! rang the Xandraxi's head as CJ's fist bounced off of it.

"OWWWWWWWWW!!!!" screamed CJ as he squeezed his throbbing hand between his thighs. "WHAT THE HECK????"

He tried one more time with his other hand.........


with similar results..........

CJ pulled up his holoscreen again as the Xandraxi guards pummeled him and threw him outside the outer perimeter of the building's surrounding property.

"Hey, guys?" CJ said over his ingame chat com.

"Yeah?" Mike answered back. "You found one of those keys yet?"

"No." he replied. "How come I don't have any gear?"

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" CJ could hear laughing on all coms.

"I don't know man." Mike chuckled, "You gotta ask Trace."

"Trace, what did you do????"" CJ yelled.

"BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Trace laughed hysterically over the coms. "I took off all your gear!"

"I see that." CJ responded. "What I want to know is where is it all so I can put it back on, and where are all my powers? Tell me you didn't sell all my gear and power cards, Trace!"

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Trace couldn't contain himself. "No, no, no! I would never do that to you. We need you to have that stuff."

"Ok, fine." CJ demanded, "Where are they then????"

Trace continued to laugh hysterically for a few moments before answering. "I put them all in the HQ Sentinel!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

There was a long pause of silence from CJ before he spoke again. "You mother f....."

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" RJ stopped him. "You're the mayor, buddy. You can't talk like that. You're supposed to be all politically correct and non offensive! Ha ha!"

"Alright, fine." CJ said. "Trace, you birthing parent copulator! You do realize it takes a couple days before I can get those back now, right?"

In a high pitched squeal of laughter, Trace responded, "YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I KNOW!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

"Oh you birthing dog!" CJ grumbled under his breath. "I'm gonna get you back. I hate you, Trace."

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" was all the response his teammate gave back.

Without any gear or powers, CJ needed to find a different way past those guards and into the old car manufacturing plant. He looked around and found the discarded husk of an old Xandraxi guard that must have been decommissioned at some earlier date by another super. He dismantled it and gutted the internal systems so there was enough room for it to slip over his body and be worn like a suit. This should work, he thought to himself. He found a large old broken mirror and decided to get a better look at himself as he put the disguise, on to get visual assistance for attaching the arms to the shoulders. After getting a good view, he tapped his coms again.

"Trace?" he said over the com.

"What now?" asked Trace. "You find that key yet?"

""Um....... No........" CJ said. "But, I got a question."

"Shoot." answered Trace.

"How come my avatar is a Black woman with purple hair?"

Once again, the intercoms erupted with laughter.


"He finally caught on!" laughed Barse.

"CJ! CJ! CJ!" exclaimed Matthew. "AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Go look at your bio!"

CJ pulled up his holoscreen again. Flipping to his bio he read:

"I believe government should show diversity, inclusiveness, and progressive policies. Therefore, as your mayor, I now self identify as a strong, Black, lesbian woman. Hooyah!"

"I hate you, Trace." he said once more over his com link as Trace responded with more hysterical laughter. "No. I really do. I'm not joking. I really hate you." his comment garnering more laughs and chuckles from his other teammates.

"Screw y'all." he said. "Y'all laugh all you want to. You think you can take away all my gear and powers and I can't do $#!+. I'm more resourceful than y'all think. I'm the gawd darn Mayor, dammit! I got this!"

CJ walked up to the Xandraxi guards again, this time disguised as one of them.
In his most robotic voice, he said, "I am here for the battery inspection."

"One of them scanned him superficially and said, "You may enter."

CJ was ecstatic. HA! His teammates thought they could make a fool out of him, but the joke was on them. He would have the last laugh and get that key, even without his powers and gear! That'd show them who was the greatest player on the team! He stepped past the door and Xandraxi guards, and into a long hallway. He had almost made it to the end where the cars were once manufactured, when a sign appeared in front of him in the middle of the air like a holoscreen.

It read:


Another security measure by the Xandraxi, CJ mused. What a stupid one. Of course he already knew what to say.

"Yes!" he confidently exclaimed.

The sign suddenly changed to "CAPTCHA FAILED" and CJ was instantly returned to home base.

"What the?" CJ said to himself. "I hate this game."

Another round of laughter burst through the coms from his teammates.

"I hate all you guys too." he said to them. "Especially you, Trace. I hate you more than the others. I'm done for tonight, y'all. I'm out."

CJ turned off his game and computer and grabbed his cat.

"It's snuggle time, Mr. Whiskers!" he said as the cat moaned woefully at its current predicament.

Hail Hydra!!!!