DEATHWISH an origin story

"DEATHWISH"

I was down by the docks watching a gang of morphon powered gangsters unload an illegal cargo shipment. I'd dealt with their type often in my line of work. Strong guys, guys that couldn't be hurt, guys that shot lasers out or their eyes, you name it. I was none of these things. I had no super powers brought on by morphon exposure. I couldn't fly, or move things with my mind. I wasn't especially inhumanly strong or durable. But what I did have over these guys was 6000 years of knowledge and experience.

See, long before much of the world had come to know civilization, I was hunting in the forest. I came upon a hut with smoke billowing from a chimney hole. I went inside to inspect, but no one was there. There was a meal of fresh fowl and a vessel of water on a stone table. Famished, and with no one in sight, I helped myself to the food, when suddenly, from some hidden corner I had not scene, the most haggard looking of forest withes charged me with her knapped crystal blade. I managed to dorged her blow before striking her in the abdomen with a deer antler shed lying nearby. As the life slipped away from her, she cursed me, never to know the peace of death.

I can still feel pain. I still bleed. My bones still break. I still feel everything. I just don't die. This has been the greatest of curses. I have been known by many names throughout history. The Wandering Jew, Le Compte Saint Germain, the tales of angels, demons, gods, monsters, sprang from my presence in history. For eons now, all I have wanted is to die. To end this endless existence. But I don't age and I can't be killed. I should rephrase that. I certainly can be killed. It's happened more than a few times over the centuries. It just never sticks. Even when every atom of my existence is obliterated, it doesn't stick. I was once thrown into the Sun by a guy with pink wings and some PVC pipe sticking out of his head. Another time, a giant snake swallowed me whole and $#!+ me back out. When something like that happens, I just respawn in a previous location. Unfortunately, I don't get to pick what that location is.

I have spent countless centuries since the witch cursed me until now, learning and mastering all that is known to mankind. Traveling to find and learn from the greatest masters and teachers until I was the greatest master and teacher. I have learned every skill from sciences to the arts of war. And tonight, I would show these super powered hoodlums what 6,000 years of knowledge and skill development looked like. Tonight, the will end up wishing they had chosen a more noble use of their powers. Tonight, they would meet DEATHWISH!

Deathwish jumped down to the street below that the gangsters were loading a shipping container at. He landed with one knee to the ground and one arm up in the signature superhero landing pose. Style Points were important. As the gangsters started to shout and point in his direction, DeathWish lifted his head, just in time to see the semi truck plow dead on into him .

THWACK!!!!

As the truck came to a screeching halt, two of the gangsters came running to inspect the costumed character that had just been splattered all over the road. In a strong Russian accent, one of them speaks to the other.

"What kind of an idiot was this guy? Ahhhh! Get another truck, quickly! We don't have time to scrape this guy off the front."

Elsewhere, deep in a South American rainforest, several weeks walk from any civilization, a lone wailfull voice screamed out in misery.

"NOOOOOOOoooooooo!!!!!"